Looking back on 2017, I don’t know where to begin. All I know is that 2017 has been more of everything. More smiles. More tears. More memories. More living.
As cliché as it may be, I’m not the same person that started 2017, and I feel that to my core in a very tangible way.
I’ve experienced more moments of feeling completely broken than I ever thought I could handle so close together, but I did it. And although 2017 was the hardest, it also came together to be the year in which I’ve grown the most. I made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot of lessons about life and myself, but I also I made so many memories that remind me of how grateful I am for the opportunities I’ve had. I was reminded that almost nothing ever works out like you planned for, but you’ll always keep on living.
I flew across the country for an opportunity to pursue the only thing I’ve ever loved; I also got scared and changed my mind. I graduated and got a big girl job. I dated more than I ever have in my entire life, which turned out to be so incredibly fun and so incredibly not. I put my heart on the line again and again. I embraced the free-spirited side of myself, went on trips with friends, lost a lot of sleep, and gained a lot of cherished memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I taught myself to be a more open person. To be someone who trusts people and gives them the benefit of the doubt. I had to learn the hard way that not everyone will respect the trust you put in them, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Opening up to people and putting yourself in a vulnerable place is really, truly hard, but vulnerability is a muscle you have to exercise.
I learned that you don’t have to be the “bigger person” by standing by and letting people take advantage of you. I think I reached the peak of my writing career when I told off Mr. Too-Cool-For-School and said that “even golden boys deserve to be called out on their shit”. I’ve received great reviews on that line.
More than anything, I found the person I really am. A woman who is strong and resilient and caring and empowered.
Now I still haven’t gotten the hang of taking great care of my car, and I still have an IKEA dresser drawer that needs fixing (that will be the death of me). But I suppose we have to save some stuff for 2018, right?
“Here is to the year that showed us just how resilient we are. Here is to the hardships that became our teachers. The spoken truths that released the concrete from our throats and the heaviness that taught us how to rise again. Here’s to the times we chose empathy over disconnection. Courage over what’s known and what’s certain. Freedom over perfection. And doing the work. Here is to the breaking that has now opened us, the opening that has expanded us, and to the expansion that has created space to invite more love in. Here is to releasing what wasn’t ours to keep. To watering beliefs that only breathe life into us. And to always trusting in the wild possibility of our own impact.”
–Danielle Doby
